Life without emotions is not only dull but also not real since human beings are emotional beings. There are many types of emotions which are inclusive but not limited to fear, joy, excitement, fear, disappointment, and love. Given that emotions are the greatest driving force in our lives, they are good but on the other hand, they can make people miserable and even affect other people in the society. Emotions are however dependent on various situations and it is even possible to experience two emotions simultaneously. They are necessary in our every day life but turn into a problem once they become too intense. For instance, some people experience a strong fear to some objects and that incapacitates them because they fail to function properly in presence of such objects. In addition, there are specific habits that develop from such emotions and more often than not lead to more trouble than the emotion itself. It is however important to note that fears do not just occur but they are caused by specific situations or experiences in our lives as most psychologists suggest. Bent on that, this essay shall discuss fear of knives.
Fear of knives or any other sharp object known as aichmophobia started in may early childhood as early as I can remember (Corsini, 2002). During my early life I could not stand seeing any one holding a knife for I feared that they may end up cutting themselves to attacking me with the same. I could not even trust my own mother with a knife. Kitchen was a no go zone for me whether there were people or not. I always imagined that I would find someone ready waiting for me with a sharp knife and there I avoided being in the kitchen at all costs. Nonetheless, my problem increased during meal time as people would use knives to cut their food like meat or fruits. Many are the times I would eat very fast and I avoided staying close to where knives were placed on the table. My greatest companion was my big brother because he rarely used knives expect when it was very necessary.
My problem did not only result from visible knives but also from the fact that I would visualize imaginary people having very sharp knives and always headed to attack me. Consequently, I experienced a lot of nightmares as I always dreamt of people attacking me with sharp knives. Sleeping alone was a problem and that forced me to share my bedroom with my small sister. My mother was particularly worried as she never understood the origin or the remedy for my problem. Every time I was alone either at night or during the day I experienced great fear. To me, death was inevitable as long as there were knives around.
Interacting with other people became a problem not to mention living a normal life at home. The fear caused me hospitalization in some instances. For instance, one incident that occurred when I was nine remains vivid in my mind. Since I am a bit hot tempered, I happened to fight my small sister who had interfered with my play objects. My mother was in the kitchen preparing some meal and after she had her cry, she rushed to where we were of course to check and rectify the problem. Seeing the knife in her hand, I could not help it but run for my dear life. My mum could not understand why I was running and screaming and she came after me and since she was faster, she was able to catch up with me within no time. Seeing the knife on her hand, I thought the end had come. From what I was told later, I fainted immediately and was taken to the hospital unconscious. After the medical examination, doctors confirmed that I was okay only that I had become anxious.
As I had mentioned earlier, may fear for knives affects even my social interaction since am I always anxious while in a crowded place. I am very observant as I have to keenly look whether people are holding knives in their hands. Worse still, I cannot help imagining that they are carrying knives in their handbags and bags. As a result, I am always alert and always keep a safe distance while in crowds. I can trust people, but I cannot trust anyone with a knife whatsoever. Now that I am a grown up, I use knives since I cannot avoid doing so. However, in my house, knives are always stored out of view. I cannot be comfortable at the sight of a sharp knife since I imagine that someone can come and attack me with the same. Due to that, I keep all my knives out of sight and only remove them when I am using them.
As most psychologists suggest, different emotions in our lives result from experiences that we have passed through. I also strongly believe the same since if it was a problem of genetics, several people in my family could be suffering from the same. In addition, when I look back at my past, I can identify the incident that caused my problem. My dad happened to own butchery and had employed a man to run it on his behalf since he was working as a civil servant. We always loved to go there but to keep us away, the butcher used to tease us with the sharp knives that were being used in the butchery. We were made to believe that he could have cut us if we failed to obey his orders. As if that was not enough, I once witnessed a robbery in our butchery. Thieves came and since the butcher was reluctant to give them money, they actually stabbed him almost to death and he also stabbed one of them who I learnt that succumbed to the injuries and died. There may have been other factors that may have contributed to my problem but as far as I am concerned, the two incidents are to blame for everything.
I have gone through numerous psychotherapy sessions and even though the problem is not solved, I am able to live with the problem. In addition, it does not incapacitate me as it did initially. I am able to carry out my activities and interact with other people. The nightmares are now minimal and I can afford to sleep in my own house. Nonetheless, that does not mean that the fear is absolutely gone but I have learnt to manage it and live almost normally like other people.
Corsini, R. J. (2002). The dictionary of psychology. London: Psychology Press.
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